Rules of Engagement is a framework I have developed over the last 10+ years. It has helped me to feel like I have more direction, purpose and clarity.
I’m now publishing these Rules via a free newsletter, which you can subscribe to below.
Rules of Engagement is designed to help with
- Communicating what you really want
- Making Fast, Effective Decisions
- Improving and Managing Relationships
- Setting and Achieving Goals
It can also help with reducing stress, improving mental clarity and consistency.
Every month or so, I will publish a Rule and an explanation of it.
To subscribe, simply go to the Rules of Engagement newsletter on LinkedIn.
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Sample Rule (Rule 3)
Please read the sample Rule below and I hope you find it valuable!
“Societal expectations are not obligations”
Rule Emphasis
Expectations, not obligations
Rule Meaning & Why
Other people have certain expectations that you become aware of and feel compelled by over time. Typically, they are promoted by more traditional and conventional people.
While there is a pressure-induced sense of needing to live up to them, there is no actual requirement or obligation (most of the time).
The pressure is real, the obligation is not. You are your own decision maker.
Rule Application
Fixing a problem
In a situation where you’re already doing something you fundamentally disagree with, ask yourself what you would do if the pressure did not exist.
Realising this, the first step is to go no further. The second step is to partially or fully exit. Making it known to those who hold the expectation that you are moving in another direction will bring both of you discomfort in the short term. In the long term, the earlier you stop, the better.
Preventing a problem
In a situation where you are aware of the expectation but have not yet engaged, ask yourself how you would be comfortable engaging – if at all.
Realising this, do not begin until you set out your own boundaries. Make those with the expectation aware of them. This will also lead to discomfort, but mainly for those with the expectation. You will feel more in control and true to yourself.
Be mindful that you aren’t asking permission to go your own way, it’s an FYI.
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